Unrequited
by F-yeah mayonnaise
Summary: Maura is out on a date and Jane is drinking alone at the Robber. The second chapter is an Authors note. Chapter 3 is the continuation of the story. ****THIS IS NOT A FLUFFY RIZZLES STORY**** PLEASE READ THE AUTHORS NOTES TO SEE IF THIS STORY MIGHT INTEREST YOU:-)******
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this is a little drabble that has been rattling around in my head for a while. I decided to write this in an attempt to get my writing mojo flowing again. It's not Betaed, so I apologize for any grammar issues. I hope you like it. If not that's ok too **

It was a typical Friday night, and Jane Rizzoli was sitting alone in a corner booth at the Dirty Robber. Maura had cut out of work a little early to get ready for her date tonight. Jane looked down at her phone to check the time. 11:37 flashed a across the screen. She let out a slight sigh and wondered if Maura would call her after her date. Jane motioned to Murray to bring her another beer. Murray was quick to bring Jane her beverage. They engaged in small talk. He politely inquired to the whereabouts of Dr. Isles and Jane simply stated that she had a date tonight. He responded with a confused "oh" and then left to attend to a new patron.

Irked by Murray's 'oh' Jane chugged half of her beer. She placed the bottle down the table with a little more force that was necessary. She ran her fingers through her hair while inhaling deeply through her nose. The amount of alcohol she has consumed wasn't enough to out pace her thoughts. In fact, it was just the right amount to make her introspective. If she was about to fall down the 'emotional processing' rabbit hole then she needed more liquor to guide her on her journey. With three large gulps she tapped her third beer. By the time the bottle left her lips, she was waving at Murray to bring her more to drink.

"Another beer." She shook the empty beer bottle to emphasize her request. "A shot of Jameson. Make it a double." Jane barked.

With in moments of her drink order, Murray appeared at her table with a beer, a bottle of Jameson, and two shot classes. He filled both shot glasses with the amber liquid. Next, he slid one shot towards Jane and raised his glass into the air.

"A beautiful and equally as dangerous lady such as yourself should never drink alone. It's a sin against man. Salute."

They clinked their glasses together and pounded down their respective shots.

Jane smiled. "Thanks Murray. You're a classy guy, despite being the owner of a dive cop bar. "

Murray chuckled. "Thanks detective. Holler when you need a refill." He said as he took leave from Jane's table.

The shot burned as it made its way down to Jane's stomach. Jane grabbed her beer and took a quick swig to put out the fire in her chest. She sat in silence while the alcohol started to swirl in her mind. She could feel her body slowly relax, but her thoughts were on the verge of busting in on her silent revelry. She took another sip of beer as she gathers her thoughts.

In the not so distant past, Jane came to the realization the she was deeply in love with a certain Medical Examiner. This discovery was only slightly shocking to Jane. She has always admired, respected, and loved her best friend. Sure there is a flirty aspect to their friendship that Jane relishes in, but she never thought it amounted to anything more than platonic exchanges. Until one random day, Jane looked upon her friend and realized that the love she feels for Maura is more than platonic. Jane remembers the exact moment. They were walking to a corner café to get lunch. The sunlight bounced off Maura's hair making it radiate with warm light. Her perfume gently drifted in the air and the click-clack of her heels seemed to strum in time with Jane's heartbeat. They shared a comfortable silence between them as they walked. Maura was staring off into the distance with a slight smile on her face. It was in that moment when she cast her gaze upon Maura, the true nature of her love became known. After the initial shock wore off, Jane felt as if on some level she has always known.

Jane took another sip of her beer. She placed the bottle down and started to pick at the edge of the label.

Jane wrestled with these feelings because she knows that Maura loves her more that life itself, but she was unsure if there was a possibility of a romantic relationship. Jane is aware of the fact that Maura can recite every peer-review article on sexual fluidity and quote Kinsey till she's blue in the face, but Jane is unsure of where the ME falls on the scale. Sure there was the flirting, lingering gazes, touches that last a hair to long, and cuddles. However, Jane felt that these things fall in the realm of intimate platonic friendship.

Jane ordered another shot of Jameson. The second shot didn't burn as bad as the first.

Many of night Jane has been involved in an exchanges with Maura that pushed the boundaries of platonic friendship. An internal battle would rage inside of Jane as she deliberate on making a move or not. As time wore on Jane figured that it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility if they slept together. Maura seems, at least from a scientific point of view, that she would be open to the idea. Jane feared that for Maura it would be a one off, an experiment in self-discovery. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but Jane knew that she would want more. She couldn't bear the heartbreak of needing more from Maura that she was incapable of giving. Plus, she didn't want to risk destroying their friendship. Sex and the emotions that come with sex have a tendency to complicate things. So Jane made the decision to never act on her love.

Jane drained the rest of her beer. The alcohol flooded her mind. She was staring to feel the euphoria of her buzz. She decided to order another beer, but to drink it slowly because she didn't need to be poured into a cab later in the night.

Her heart swelled with love at the thoughts of her friend. Jane let out a little chuckle as she thought of her and Maura. Jane cherishes her relationship with Maura and is more than willing to be content with just being friends, but she couldn't help imagine what her life would be like if she and Maura were to get married and had a family. Jane never desired these things until Maura was apart of her life. Sometimes Jane fantasizes about what their wedding would be like, or what their kids would be like. It's a fantasy that she tucks into the depths of her heart. However, a threat to her fantasy has arisen.

Jane shifted in her seat. She placed her elbow on the table a rest the side of her head in the palm of her hand. A sad huff escapes from her lips.

This so call threat is named Jason Baker. Jason is a professor of literature at BCU. He is well spoken, educated, passionate, handsome, and couldn't be anymore Maura's type if he tried. Maura met him at a BCU alum gala just over a month ago. Jane was drugged to the gala as Maura's plus one. Jane made her way over to the bar when she had enough small talk to last a lifetime. As Jane sat at the bar, she scanned the room to locate Maura. It was then when she saw this man approach Maura and engaged her in conversation. Jane's initial reaction was to leap off the bar stool and checkout the situation. She was ready to jump in and c-block any d-bags from bothering her friend, but Maura body language was screaming that she was interested in this man. Jane watched them with scrutinizing eyes. She was taken aback at how respectful of Maura's space he was. He wasn't over selling himself or trying to dominate their shared space. They engaged in conversation for a bit. He truly looked like he was interested in what Maura had to say, and not feigning interest in order to get laid. Maura looked in Jane's direction and motioned for her to come to them. Jane went over to the couple. Maura introduced Jason and when he shook Jane's hand it was firm, but not domineering and his eye contact was genuine. An older gentleman approached Jason and requested his assistance. Jason politely excused himself and went on his merry way. Jane could tell that Maura was instantly smitten with him. Later that evening Maura ran into Jason again, and they exchanged numbers and a promise for a future date.

Jane picks up the beer bottle and swirls the liquid around in side before she takes a drink.

Jane met Jason a second time a few weeks later. She swung by Maura's house early one morning to drop off some files that Maura needed for a medical symposium she was attending the following weekend. Jane walked in bellowing Maura's name and was startled when she saw a man in her kitchen. Jason quickly reintroduced himself to the detective. He said that Maura was upstairs getting dressed and should be down shortly. Jane placed the files on the island in the kitchen and turned to leave when Jason offered her coffee. Jane didn't want to be rude and Jason hasn't given her any cause to be. She sat down and he poured her a cup of coffee. They engaged in polite small talk. As they talked Jane could see all the reasons why Maura was so taken by him. Jason was genuinely a good guy. Their conversation drifted to sports and she found out that Jason was avid Red Sox fan. Their small talk quickly evolved into a passionate discussion of their mutual love for the Sox. Jane hated to admit it but she was becoming a little bit enamored with this guy. He was very charming, to say the least. Maura eventually made her way down stairs and her heart soared as she looked upon the scene in her kitchen. Jason got up and went to Maura a placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and then he had to leave because he had office hours in an hour in a half. He shook Jane's hand and said that they needed to get together sometime soon and take in a sox's game. There was something about his demeanor that made Jane feel like he was serious about the invite and not just being polite.

Maura walked Jason to the door and they said their goodbyes. Maura came bounding around the corner as if she was walking on air. She asked Jane what she thought of Jason. Jane replied with a "he's alright I guess."

Maura's face lit up. "Good! I'm glad you like him because I think he is the one."

Jane just sat there motionless. Her heart shattered at Maura's words. Maura took Jane's silent response as concerned that her relationship with Jason was moving too fast.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I have never felt this way about anyone. He is just so amazing and he makes me feel like falling 'in love' is a real thing and not a series of synapses firing in the brain to produce and release hormones in the body." Maura beamed.

Maura continued her diatribe about the roles of certain neurotransmitters in forming attachment, but Jane had tuned her out. Jane knew Maura wasn't sharing her feelings about Jason to hurt her. Yet, when Maura's feelings for Jason mirrored her own feelings, it was hurtful nonetheless.

So here she is. Alone getting shitfaced in a dive cop bar. Jane downed the rest of her final beer. She was treading dangerously close to the weepy stage of drinking.

Jane ran her hands through her hair and sat up straight up in the booth. She placed all the empty bottles in a line.

She needs to figure out a way to deal with this clusterfuck of a situation. Jane wanted nothing more in life than Maura's happiness. So If her happiness meant sharing a life with Jason, then Jane wanted to support that with every ounce of her being. She started to imagine that instead of her standing across Maura getting married, Jason was there instead. Of course Jane would be the maid of honor. She would gladly do it because it would make Maura happy. No matter how supportive her words will be, or the happiness she exudes, a part of her would be dying.

Jane shifted uncomfortable in her seat.

To add insult to injury, Jane honestly liked Jason. He's a great guy. It would be so much easier if she could hate him. She wished he were a jackass, so her hate would be justified. She wouldn't have any trepidation in telling Maura that she deserved better and she needed to drop his ass. Then there would be one more jerk out of her life and Jane could reclaim her position in Maura's life as the person who loves and cares for her the most. Of course there is always a chance that Maura and Jason could break up, but Jane had a feeling that wouldn't be the case this time. The fantasy of her and Maura getting married and having kids is now being replaced with Jason.

Sadness crept inside of Jane.

Jane scoffed at her feelings.

She blames the alcohol for being so dramatic. It wasn't like Maura was no longer going to apart of her life. Maura was still every bit her best friend and loved Jane deeply. So instead of standing across Maura at a wedding, she will be by her side. Instead of raising a family, she will get to be the 'awesome aunt'. Not a bad conciliation prize. Jane came to the only conclusion she could think off. Her only option is to channel all of her feelings into being the best friend Maura deserves, and hope that this constant heartache will subside with time.

Jane's phone rings with a familiar ringtone.

"Heeyyy Maura!" Jane said with a slight slur.

"Nothing much. Just having a few drinks at the robber. How was your date?"

"Good. Sounds like you had a great time."

"Yeah sure. I would love to come over. Just let me settle up my tab and call a cab."

Jane chuckles a bit. "I'm a poet and didn't know it."

"I've had a few. I'm not 'DRUNK' drunk."

"No worries. I'm not too drunk to come over and hear all about you date. I'll be there in 30."

"Ok see ya soon."

Jane disconnected the call. After a beat or two, she stood up and headed toward the bar.

"Hey Murray I need to settle up my tab." Jane thought for a second. "Another double for the road."

She had a feeling that she would have to be 'DRUNK' drunk to deal with hearing about Maura's evening.

Jane settled her tab, downed her shot, wished Murray a good rest of his night, and stumbled towards the door.

**AN: let me know what you think. Reviews are awesome. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello. Sorry this is just an Authors note and not a chapter. I just wanted to say a very heartfelt thanks to all who have read/reviewed/favorite/followed this story. It means so much when somebody takes an interest in something you have done. A million thank you. Some people have expressed interest in me continuing this story. I've only planned on it being a one-shot, but I'm considering the possibility of extending this story by two chapters or so. I'm unsure what direction I will take with this story, so I guess I'm asking A: are there a lot of people interested in reading more? B: would people read this story if it doesn't have a happy ending? **

**Please let me know your thoughts. PM or reviews would be much appreciated. **

**Hugs and loves.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I would like to thank every one who favorite/followed this story, and a special thanks to all that let me know about how they would feel about a happy verses a sad ending. I took your comments to heart. I thought long and hard about how I wanted to end this story, and I was going to go with a not so happy ending, but then an idea popped into my mind and wouldn't leave. I'm not sure what ending I'm going to go with just yet. I've written one ending and started on the other too see what I like better. I had to split it into 2 Ch. Because I reached close to 6000 words and thought it would be easier to read as two. This gives me some more time to work out the kinks on the second Ch. And be able to post something. I'm not intentionally trying to drag this out. I honestly can't decide on an ending. If you don't want to follow me down the rabbit hole, please feel free to jump ship, and I thank you for reading my story. If you are on board, many hugs for you, just a warning this chapter serves as a bridge to the last chapter, so nothing much gets resolved. Whatever ending I choose I will state at the beginning if Jane and Maura end up together or not. This story is not Betaed, and I do not own anything.**

Maura was just about to snuggle up on the couch with a glass of wine when she heard the distinct sound of keys missing their intended target. The doorknob rattled and the sound of swearing filled the air. The keys finally connected with the keyhole, and the door swung open to reveal an utterly intoxicated Jane.

"I'm glad you finally took my advice and locked you doors." Jane blurted out.

Maura stood up from the couch.

"You were extremely adamant about me keeping my doors locked. Therefore, I thought it wise to comply with your wishes." Maura responded.

Jane stumbled towards the kitchen muttering incoherent nonsense underneath her breath. She tossed her keys on the island with such force that they skipped across the top of the counter and landed on the floor.

"Oops!" Jane let out in a drunken snicker.

"I thought you said you weren't '_drunk' _drunk." Maura said while using air quotes.

"Welp…" Jane opened up the refrigerator and pressed her body against the door. "I wasn't drrruunnk when you called, buuuttt the double shot I took for the road has made me its bitch."

Jane turned her attention back to the fridge where the bright light caused Jane to squint and contort her face. She shuffled the contents of the fridge around till she found a beer.

"I see. Do you think it's wise to consume more alcohol?" Maura said pointedly.

Jane shot Maura a defiant glare then proceeded to pop the cap off of the beer and took a long pull from the bottle.

"So tell my about your date with Mr. wonderful." Jane's tone dripped with sarcasm.

Stunned by Jane's brutish behavior, Maura stammered when she spoke.

"I… uh… we had a nice time. Are you ok Jane? You don't seem like yourself?" Maura was concerned about her friend's inebriated state.

Jane chuckled at Maura's comment, and brought her hand to her face as if she was just about to tell a secret.

"I'm a little shit-faced." Jane started to lose her balance. "Ok. Maybe I'm a lot shit-faced."

Maura walked towards her friend, slid her arm around Jane's waist to help her balance.

"Lets get you to the couch." The smell of alcohol wafted off of Jane and permeated Maura's nostrils.

Maura was able to walk Jane to the couch. Once there, Jane flopped down and swung her legs over the armrest.

"I want to hear all the amazing details of your dream date." Jane's attempt to sound genuinely interested failed miserably because jealousy was at the forefront of her mind.

Maura looked down upon the detective with concerned eyes. "I'm going to get you a glass of water."

Maura headed into the kitchen where she stumbled across Bass. "Oh! Hey handsome, are you hungry?"

Jane sputtered out "Is Jason here? I can go over to my Ma's if you guys need some alone time to get frisky." Then, she raised her hands in the air and proceeded to smash her fingers together in obscene gestures.

Maura tried to repress a chuckle. "No. No. Jason isn't here. I was talking to Bass, I need to feed him."

Jane mumbled a response that Maura didn't hear.

Maura set out food for Bass, and grabbed Jane a glass of water. As she approached the couch, she could hear the faint sound of heavy breathing. Maura gently untied the Detective's laces on her boots, and slipped them off her feet. Jane stirred a bit, but did not wake. Furthermore, she removed the beer bottle from Jane's grip, and placed a throw blanket over the detective. Maura grabbed a book to read, and sat down on the floor next to Jane's head. She wanted to make sure Jane was asleep and not passed out, so she waited to hear Jane's breathe even out to signal that she was asleep. Maura stood up, stretched, and looked down at Jane. She wondered what was troubling her friend, for her friend can be a bit complex and hard to understand at times. She bent down and placed a small kiss on top of Jane's head and whispered good night.

A month pasted since Jane drunken night at the robber. Maura was spending the lion's share of her time with Jason, which left Jane a little spurned. To calm the bitterness that was brewing inside of her, Jane would rationalizes that Maura was trapped in a sex haze. Maura's relationship with Jason was still in the honeymoon phase; therefore, she really couldn't begrudge Maura for wanting to spend her free time with Jason. Jane tried as hard as she could to be supportive, but her heart would wane and her feeling would get the better of her. As a result, Jane could feel herself withdrawing from the friendship.

There were times when Jane would be able to keep her feelings for Maura in-check and feel as if she could fully accept Maura's relationship with Jason. Maura's happiness would be so completely infectious that Jane's heart would fill with joy for her friend. Unfortunately those feelings would soon vanish when Maura would utter the words "I love him." It was an unintentional dagger to Jane's heart, but it would still hurt. After hearing those words, Jane felt as if all she was left with is a fake smile and faux enthusiasm.

Three months into Maura and Jason's relationship, he suggested that they should go away for a romantic weekend to the cape. Maura beamed with excitement when she told Jane over lunch. Jane mustered up as much enthusiasm as she could, and wished them a good trip. Maura tried to make plans for the two of them to get together after her weekend, but Jane gave a non committal excuse that depended on if she would be busy with work or not. As Jane was about to head back to work, Maura asked what she really thought about Jason. Jane took a cleansing breath, turned to face her friend and said, "I think you guys are a lovely couple. He is one of the good ones." Maura's smile was so incandescent that Jane would stop at nothing to make her smile like that forever.

Late Saturday Jane was snuggled up in bed ready to call it a night when a familiar Ringtone blared from her phone.

"Hey Maur! How's your romantic getaway going?"

Giggles and hushed whispers were on the other side of the line.

"Hello? Maura?" Jane hollered into her phone.

"Jane! Are you there?" Maura whispered into the phone.

Jane could tell Maura had been drinking. "Yeah sweetheart. I'm here. What's up? Why are you whispering?"

More giggles came through the phone line. "I only have a few seconds before Jason get back with the room service."

"Uh-huh?" Jane replied.

"Oh Jane, the most amazing thing just happened. Jason proposed marriage and I accepted." Maura squealed into the phone.

Jane was speechless. She felt as if the world its self had stopped.

"Oh! Jason is back with the room service, I've got to go and finish celebrating." Maura let out a devilish laugh. "Bye Jane."

"Bye Maura. Uh congratulations." Jane sputtered into the phone.

"Thanks Jane. We will catch up when I get back." The line went dead.

Jane sat in bed with the phone pressed against her ear long after Maura disconnected the call. So many confusing thoughts ran through Jane's mind. Although, she was ecstatic that her friend was getting married, she couldn't help the feeling of her heart fracturing into pieces because the woman she loves is marring another. Slowly, she slid under the covers, and curled into the fetal position. With every beat, Jane's heart would break a little more. In addition to the growing heartache, a few small tears started to slowly stream down her face. Jo Friday hoped on the bed and started to lick Jane's face. She grabbed the little pup and pulled her into an embrace.

"At least you still love me." Jane ruffles the fur atop of Jo Fridays head.

Jane closed her eyes and slipped into uncomfortable sleep.

The next few weeks that passed, Jane stayed in an emotional funk. Luckily for her work was really busy which helped keep her mind focused off of Maura's impending nuptials. There was a triple murder down by the docks that keep Boston Homicide very busy. As a result, Jane had a legitimate excuse for not spending time with Maura. On Maura's end, the majority of her free time was spent on planning her wedding. Maura was well aware of Jane's absence for her life, but contributed it to the heavy workload of resent weeks. Although, she and Jane were occupied by work duties, Maura couldn't shake the feeling that Jane was avoiding her. This certainly wasn't the first time they both experienced a heavy workload, but in the past they always manage to steal a few moments here and there to get together. Whether it was small lunch breaks in the morgue, or late nights eating take out and discussing the case, or even an early morning run, they always managed to find the time to see each other. Now, whenever Maura suggests getting together, Jane seems to be evasive. She always seems to have an excuse to why she can't hangout and makes non-specific alternative plans to get together at a later date. Maura could feel a shift in their friendship, but was unable to pinpoint what was causing said shift.

Jane caught a break in the case and was able arrest the prime suspect due to some forensic evidence that Maura uncovered. Relived that she was able to put another bad guy away, Jane went down to the Morgue to congratulate Maura on her contribution that helped put this case to bed. When she approached the Morgue doors, through the window she saw Jason giving Maura flowers and then pulling her into a passionate kiss. Maura broke from the kiss and placed her hand to the side of Jason's face and looked lovingly into his eyes. The look that they shared was of two people who were madly in-love. There was no doubt in Jane's mind that Jason was real deal and Maura loved him very much.

No wanting to intrude on their private moment, Jane carefully backed away from the Morgue doors and quietly slinked away. Riding in the elevator back to the BRIC, Jane felt like she was kicked in the stomach. Seeing them together sharing that intimate moment solidified the fact that Jane would never be able to be with Maura. These thoughts made Jane lose her breath and start to feel dizzy. She placed one hand against the elevator door to steady herself, and the other hand over her heart in an attempt to keep it from breaking into a million pieces. The elevator dinged as the desired floor was reached; the sound snapped Jane out of her anguish state of being. She inhaled deeply and put on her game face. Jane walked into Cavanaugh's offices and requested if she could take some time off. She wanted to take the weekend through Monday off. Cavanaugh didn't have a problem granting her the time off, because he knew that the Detective worked day and night on this last case and was more than entitled to a small break. Jane thanked him and left his office. Just as she stepped out of the door, she heard a male voice shout out her name. She looked up and saw Jason approaching; he swept Jane up into a large hug. As a general rule Jane was not a huger, but she had to admit it, Jason did give great hugs.

"Congratulation on putting the bad guys away." Jason said as he released Jane from their embrace.

"Thanks." Jane mustered up a smile. "We couldn't have done it without Maura." She motion towards her.

Jason turned to look at Maura. "She is quite amazing isn't she?" He said with a goofy grin. Maura blushed as she looked down at her shoes trying to hide the grin on her face.

"Yes she is." Jane said through her fake smile.

"Well… I was wondering that now that the case is closed, and of course if your free, if you would like to join us for dinner and wine tasting this weekend? Jason's eyes were filled with so much hope and sincerity when he asked, it almost broke Jane's heart to say no. Almost.

"Uh…" Jane scratched her head. "I would love to join you guys this weekend, but Cavanaugh just asked me to start working on my backlog of paperwork. Also, he wanted me to look over a few cold cases to see if I could find anything to clear them. Apparently, Cavanaugh is getting pressure from the mayor's office about homicide's low clearance rate." Jane shrugged. "I'm going to be pretty busy tonight and the rest of the weekend. Sorry."

Disappointment spread across both Jason and Maura's faces.

"Oh. Ok then. Maybe next time." Jason said.

"Yeah for sure. Next time." Jane offered a smile. "Um… if you will excuse me, I'm going to grab all my paperwork and head on home." Jane pushed passed the couple.

"Have a good night." Maura shouted. "Good luck with your workload." Jason offered in support.

Jane grabbed a stack of papers and muttered a "Thanks" over her shoulder and left the BRIC.

She felt like an asshole for lying to them, but there was no way in hell that she was going to spend time with the lovely couple. Jane's plans for the weekend involved her going to her family's cabin at the cape, and spend the entire weekend in a drunken stupor while she sorts out her feelings. Jane stopped off at the liquor store and bought two bottles of Jameson whiskey and a few 6 packs of Blue Moon beer. Her next stop was to the Grocery store to pick up some grub and toiletries for the weekend. She called Tommy and asked if he could come over tonight and stay the weekend watching Jo. He was more than happy to oblige her request. It was about 7:00 pm when she got back to her apartment, she quickly packed a few clothes, petted Jo on the head and left.

Jane made good time getting up to the cabin. When she opened the door, childhood memories swarmed her mind. She recalled the many family gatherings over the summers of her past. Her brothers and boy cousins would build forts out of blankets and pillows. The boys would chant, "No girls allowed!" Jane would gather her female cousins and led an attack on the boy's fort. The living room would be destroyed in less than five minutes. Finally, the boys would submit and allow the girls to hang out in the fort, only if they helped rebuild it. Jane smiled at the memory, then proceeded to put the food up and changed into some comfortable clothing.

She grabbed a beer from the fridge, and set out to make dinner. Jane decided to make spaghetti and garlic bread. She wanted something substantial in her stomach if she was going to drown her sorrows with alcohol. As she waited for the water to boil, Jane picked up her phone from the counter. She scrolled through her contacts until she happened upon Maura's name. She pressed 'delete contact' and turned off her phone. Her reasoning behind this act was that she didn't want to drunk dial Maura. Not only would it be embarrassing to the detective, but also it would be unfair to drunkenly unload her feeling to the unsuspecting ME.

Jane ate and cleaned up her mess in the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of Jameson and poured a shot. The shot burned going down, but it was a welcomed sensation because Jane was able to feel something other than her broken heart. After a second shot, she went out to the back porch to gather up some firewood. There was a slight chill in the air that signaled the impending change of season. Jane inhaled the crisp air, cooling her burning chest caused by the whiskey. The moon shined brightly in the clear night sky, illuminating the surrounding. Jane looked around and thought how beautiful everything looked under the moonlight. She allowed herself this moment of serenity before she when back inside.

It took no time at all for Jane to build a fire. For this reason, she was quit proud of her fire staring skills. Jane grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a long pull. The more she drank the smoother it went down. She thumbed her way through her uncle Marco's record collection trying to find some thing to listen to when she landed on a Patsy Cline record.

"She knows a little something about heartbreak." She said to no one in particular.

Jane placed the record on the played and tossed a pillow and blanket onto the floor. She curled up with the bottle of whiskey and listen as the music infiltrated her mind.

A third of the whiskey gone, two Patsy Cline and Johnny Cash records later, Jane thought that she should find some different music to listen to because if she continued listening to heartbreak music she might open a vein. Jane stood up and the room seemed to shift, she realized that she was successfully on her way into a drunken stupor. Jane stumbled to library of music records, and thumbed through the selection trying to find some lighter fair. In no time at all, she happened upon Depeche Mode.

"Yes!" Jane shouted while fist pumping the air. She swapped records and when the unmistakable 80's synthpop hit her ears, she couldn't help but start to dance a bit.

Jane shimmied across the living room floor into the kitchen to grab another beer.

She started to sing into the beer bottle as if it was a microphone.

"WHEN I'M WITH YOU BABY, I GO OUT OF MY HEAD. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH. ALL THE THINGS YOU DO TO ME, AND EVERYTHING YOU SAID. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH." Jane sung as loud and off key as possible.

Obviously she was in the euphoric, no fucks given stage of her bender. Jane like this stage very much because anger and indifference were easier emotions to deal with, for she was comfortable with these emotions because they felt functional. Where as, the soul crushing, curl up in ball and cry for days at a time emotions made her feel stagnant and weak. She took another sip of her beer and hoped that she could remain in the state for a little while longer. It was a fruitless wish because she new at some point she would come face to face with those emotions.

Jane continued to dance and sing around the living room then she heard a knock at the door. At first, she thought that she hallucinated the sound, but then more knocks came.

Jane turned off the record player and cautiously approached the front door, picking up the Louisville slugger bat that acts as a home security device and peaked through the curtains. To her surprise, she saw a visibly pissed off Maura standing on the front porch.

**AN2: Anybody left? Please let me know what you think? **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIES FOR THE EXTREAM DELAY IN POSTING. IN SHORT, LIFE GOT IN THE WAY AND I'VE HAVENT HAD THE TIME TO WRITE. I'M SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU GUYS HANGING FOR SO LONG. **

**ALSO, I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE MY SINCEREST THANKS TO EVERYBODY THAT HAS REVIEWED, FOLLOWED, GAVE INPUT, AND FAVORITED THIS STORY. IT IS BY FAR MY MOST POPULAR STORY THAT I HAVE WRITTEN. THE FEEDBACK THAT I HAVE RECEIVED HAS BEEN AMAZING BECAUSE THIS STORY COMES FROM A VERY PERSON SPACE AND TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE TAKE AN INTREST WAS AMAZING AND VERY HELPFUL TO ME ON A PERSONAL LEVEL. **

**AS FOR THE STORY ITS SELF, I HAD MANY VERSIONS WORKED OUT IN MY HEAD, BUT I FINALLY SETTELED ON THIS ONE. AS FAR AS HAPPY/NOT HAPPY ENDING I TRIED TO WRITE WHAT I THOUGHT MIGHT BE THE MOST REALISTIC FOR THE ORIGNINAL INTENT I SET OUT TO WRITE. I TRIED TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE, SO TO SPEAK. IF YOU ARE STILL INTRESTED IN HOW THINGS TURN OUT, PLEASE CONTINUE READING. IF NOT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T CLEARLY STATED HOW IT'S GOING TO END, THEN I THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY AND I WISH YOU MANY FLUFFY RIZZLE FICS IN THE FUTURE. **

**ON LAST THING… THIS STORY IS UN-BETA SO I'M SORRY FOR ALL GRAMMER MISTAKES. I TRIED MY BEST.**

Confused and a little annoyed, Jane swung the door open.

"What the fuck you doing here?" She barked into the night air.

"I could ask you the same, Jane!" Maura said as she pushed past the detective.

"I… Uh… This is my family's cabin… What are you doing here Maura?" Jane said while she shut the front door with a little more force than was intended.

Maura straightened her shoulders and gave a stern look towards Jane.

"I have been feeling bad about spending all my time with Jason and neglecting our friendship, so I canceled my plans with him tonight in order to spend sometime with you."

"Well you don't have to do me any favors and besides I told you I'm busy all weekend." Jane scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"I can see that you're busy getting intoxicated while doing your paper work. Oh wait… your not doing any paperwork are you?" Maura spat.

"Holy shit! Was that sarcasm?" Jane held her hand to her heart in mock surprise.

"JANE!"

"MAURA!" Jane yelled back in a mocking tone as she crossed to the kitchen to fetch another beer.

Maura shifted her weight from one foot to the other, and glared at Jane.

"What are you doing here? How did you know where I was?" Jane inquired as she chugged down the beer.

"Like I said, I wanted to spend sometime with you, and thought that I would come over, cook your dinner and assist you with looking through your cold case files, but when I got to your house, Tommy was sitting on your couch drinking beer and watching TV. I asked him where you went and he told me that you took off to the family cabin for the weekend. I thought maybe you wanted a quiet place to work, but then I saw your so-called files on your table. Would you like to explain why you lied to me?" Maura crossed her arms. "I tried to call you but it kept going to voicemail. Why are you avoiding me?"

"Geez Maura, I'm not avoiding you! I just wanted a weekend alone. It's not a big fucking deal." Jane's temper started to flare.

Unsatisfied with Jane's response, Maura pushed further. "If is not a big deal, then why did you choose to lie to Jason and myself? You could have simply stated your desire to be alone and we would have respected that. Come to think about it, this isn't the first time in these recent months that you have used work as an excuse to not spend time together. Were they all lies as well?" Maura's voice faulted a bit.

Jane's shifted her eyes from Maura.

"They were lies! Weren't they?" Maura was hurt by Jane's non-verbal omission.

"Why Jane? What have I done to make you to not want to spend time with me?" Maura asked with a hint of desperation.

Extremely intoxicated and becoming exceedingly frustrated, Jane ran her hands through her hair exhaled forcibly out her nose.

"It's nothing! It's just…." Jane was rapidly losing control of her ability to filter, and was teetering on the edged of having an emotional outburst. "Just drop it will ya?"

Determined to hold her ground. "No I will not just drop it, because you need to tell me what is going on with us. Is it Jason? Are you jealous of the time I spend with him, or is it the fact that I'm in a relationship and you are not?" Maura said pointedly.

Maura's statement struck a nerve within Jane. The last bit of her reserve was knocked down, for the whiskey was going to do the talking from now on.

"WHAT?! NO! Fuck Jason! For a genius you are pretty fucking stupid at times. Here's a tip… When a person avoids another person, it means they do not want to see the other person." Jane spoke slowly and succinctly to punctuate her point.

Maura stood still. Her face didn't register any emotion because she was in a state of shock. Jane has never spoken to her in such a manner.

Jane misinterpreted Maura's failure to respond as not understanding what she was telling her.

"I. DON'T. WANT. TO. BE. NEAR. YOU! Jane shouted.

Maura felt the sting of Jane's harsh words and a small tear started to roll down the side of her cheek. It was possibly the most hurtful words that Jane had ever said to her. The venom in her tone sliced right through Maura causing her to lose her breath. Confused and hurt, Maura gathered herself together and turned to leave.

Jane felt like a colossal asshole. It was a combination of whiskey and misplaced anger that caused her to lash out at her friend. Now she was responsible for making the most generous and kind soul on this earth cry. Jane just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear forever.

"Wait." Jane's voice was low and gruff. "Maura… I'm sorry." A simple apology was all Jane could muster.

Maura stopped just shy of the door. Against her better judgment, she turned around to face Jane.

Jane looked upon Maura's tearstained face, her expression was begging for Jane to explain why she was infuriated with her.

Jane's mind was racing a mile a minute, for she knew that the moment she starts talking everything will come rushing out in verbal diarrhea. This is not how she wanted Maura to find out about her feelings for her. Actually, she planned on taking her feelings to the grave, but it has become just too much for the detective. She desperately wanted to be accepting of the fact that Maura loved Jason, but it was destroying her and causing her to lash out at the person she loved the most in the world.

Even though, Jane thought this would be a bad idea, she felt the need to explain herself. Her eyes shifted away from Maura; she started to nervously rub her scar on her right hand. "Fuck! I'm too drunk for this shit!" she thought to herself.

"Maura." Jane started slowly. "I'm so sorry for that outburst. That was horribly unkind and not quite the whole truth."

Perplexed by Jane's statement, Maura spoke in a shaky voice. "What does that mean 'not quite the whole truth'? I don't understand… you want to spend time with me, but have been avoiding me instead?"

"Uh… I owe you an explanation, and it isn't an easy thing for me to blurt out. Please have a seat on the couch." Jane's nervously gestured towards the couch.

Maura walked to the couch while Jane went to throw another log on the fire, in order to buy her some time to gather her thoughts. For what seemed to be an eternity, Jane finally turned to face Maura.

"It is true that I have been avoiding you lately." She exhaled loudly. "Um… It's not that I don't want to spend time with you per se. I really want to, but I can't."

Maura scrunched her face in confusion.

Jane started to pace nervously back and forth in front of the fireplace. She began to panic because she was afraid of how Maura was going to react to her confession, but she couldn't stop now. It was too late; the can of worms had been opened. Jane said the next part in such a manic rush; Maura had a hard time keeping up.

"The reason why I can't be around you, or around you and Jason is because I've realized that I'm in love with you, and have been for years now. I know you love me as a friend and nothing more, and I love you very much as a friend, yet I want more. I want your face to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night before I go to sleep. I want to get married and have kids and fight over if we are going to have bunny pancakes or French toast for breakfast. I want the Tea parties and baseball games, scraped knees and missing teeth. I want a real life with you, and I have never once considered wanting these things until I thought of sharing them with you." Jane's voice faltered a bit.

"I know it will only be a fantasy because you love Jason, and it kills me to know that we will never be. It's not you fault or anything, you can't help whom you love; I just wished you loved me."

Jane felt a rush of relief after telling Maura how she felt, but that feeling was quickly replaced with dread and insecurities about what was to follow.

Maura sat in a daze as she tried to process Jane's confession of love. It was a lot to take in, and the ME knew that whatever her response was going to be, it would greatly affect Jane's heart and impact their friendship.

Jane grew uncomfortable with Maura's silence.

"I knew I shouldn't have fucking said anything. It's going to be awkward as fuck between us now." Jane placed her face in her hand.

"Jane, please come sit by me." Maura patted the seat next to her.

Jane's whole body was shaking as she sat down. Maura took Jane's hands into her own and looked lovingly into Jane's eyes, for a split second Jane thought there was hope.

"That was a lot to digest at the moment, but I do feel that I need to respond to your confession." Maura said coolly. "I love you very much Jane. You are such an important part of my existence, and we have a bond that is undeniably unbreakable. By having you in my life, you have filled a void that I've had since I was a child and as a result, I have become a better person for knowing you. You are so entrenched into my being that I feel like that if we were to ever part, half of my soul would die."

Maura ran her thumbs over Jane's hands in a comforting manner. Jane smiled at the gesture.

"I'm not going to deny the fact that I have thought about what it would like to be with you romantically. You are very aesthetically pleasing to look at and you fulfill my emotional needs, but I'm afraid that whatever sexual curiosities I have about us, they will be nothing more than curiosities. I don't think I'm capable to love you in the way you deserved to be loved. When I envision my future life, I see myself married to Jason because I know in my heart that I can love him completely. He fulfills my needs and my desires and I fulfill his. Please believe me when I say that I do wish things were different and I'm able to love you the in the same manner as you love me because I would be incredibly blessed to share a life with you."

Jane brought Maura's hands to her lips and placed a soft kissed on her knuckles and released them.

"I'm sorry Jane."

"Don't be sorry, Maura. Thank you for being honest with me." Jane stood up from the couch.

"Are we going to be ok?" Maura inquired.

"Yeah sure, I just need some time alone to sort it all out."

"Would you like me to leave?"

"No. Don't be silly. It's very late and you are more than welcome to sleep in the guest bedroom." Jane waved her off. "I'm still a bit drunk and I need to digest all that has transpired, so I'm going to hit the hay. The guest bedroom is down the hall and on your right." Jane started to stumble towards her room.

"Oh! Don't think about sneaking out in the morning, I expect breakfast and a proper conversation." Jane said over her shoulder.

Maura smiled at Jane's comment. Maybe things will work out after all.

"Good Night Jane."

"Night Maur."

Jane staggered into her room and flopped on the bed. Her mind swirled with whiskey and emotions. She tried to focus on one feeling or thought, but her mind kept shifting at a rapid pace. She was completely emotionally drained, but through the haze of her mind one thought came busting through. Only Maura Isles could break her heart in such a way that made her love Maura even more. Jane laughed at her ridicules self. She just hoped that now that her feelings were out in the open, she could find some way of letting her love for Maura go.

Jane rolled off of the bed and stood up on wobbly legs. She stripped down to her tank top and panties, and turned towards the top of her bed to pull the covers down. She was just about to get back into bed when she heard a knock at the door.

"Maybe Maura needs some toiletries, or a something to sleep in." Jane thought to herself.

She opened the door and before she could get a word out, Maura sprung forward, slipping one hand around Jane's neck and the other around her waist, pulling her close. To Jane's complete surprise, their lips met in a fiery kiss. Maura slowly ran her tongue across Jane's lower lip demanding entrance. Jane's mouth opened slightly granting Maura access. After a few moments Jane broke off the kiss and rested her forehead against Maura. Both of them were breathing hard, but no words were spoken. Jane's body was on fire, urging her to continue. She leaned in to kiss Maura again, but hesitation halted her movement. Maura sensed Jane's hesitation and decided to give her some encouragement. She peppered kisses along Jane's neck up to her ear. Maura's hot breath felt against her skin, causing Jane's body to shiver in response. Maura ran her tongue across the shell of Jane's ear, taking the lobe into her mouth, and slowly raked her teeth against Jane's skin. Jane let out a small moan while sliding her hands up Maura's lower back. Maura continued to kiss down her neck and along her collarbone, her hand shifted from the nape of Jane's neck and slid down Jane's torso finally coming to rest over her right breast. Jane leaned into Maura's touch, and exhaled a shudder breath. Maura cupped Jane's breast and ran her thumb over a harden nipple causing Jane to capture Maura's lips and kiss her passionately.

Maura didn't exactly have the intention to become intimate with Jane when she knocked on her door. She was so moved by Jane's words and wanted to make sure that she was going to be ok after abruptly stopping their conversation. When Maura saw Jane standing in her tank top and panties, she simply reacted to the visual stimulus that stood before her.

Desperate to advance the situation, Maura pushed Jane backwards on to the edge of the bed. Before Jane's mind could catch up to what was happening, Maura straddled her lap and started to kiss her with reckless abandon. Jane's heart was beating so fast that she actually thought it might beat right out of her chest. All her senses were pushed to maximum sensitivity under Maura's touch. There was a slight sense of confusion and desperation in Maura's kisses that was echoed back by Jane.

"Uh… Maura." Jane said breathlessly. "What's happening?"

Maura could feel Jane's body tense up. Not wanting to stop, Maura nuzzled Jane's neck and whispered in her ear. "Jane, shut up and touch me."

Jane did as she was instructed and slipped her hand underneath Maura's blouse. Jane tenderly slid her hand up Maura's side and came to rest just under Maura's bra clad breast. The feel of Maura's soft skin on Jane's fingertips was incredible. Maura continued to kiss and nip along Jane's neck; she could feel warm skin and Goosebumps with every kiss. Maura took great pride in the fact that she was the cause of Jane's Parasympathetic Nervous System being in overdrive.

Jane raised her hand to cup Maura's breast and gave a gentle squeeze. Maura let out a small breathy moan and pulled Jane into a deep kiss. Maura broke off the kiss and removed herself from Jane's lap. Jane sat still while looking at Maura standing in front of her, she didn't move, she didn't breath, for she was afraid that they crossed a line that Maura didn't want to cross. Maura saw the panic in Jane's eyes and stepped in between her legs. Not wasting any more time, she started to unbutton her blouse, removing it and then dropping it on the floor. Next, she unzipped her skirt, Jane watched as the fabric dropped to the floor. Jane didn't have much time to take in Maura's mostly naked body before Maura reached for the hem of her tank top and lifted it above her head and tossing it on the ground. Maura cupped Jane's face and leaned in to kiss her. As the kiss deepened, she gently pushed Jane back on the bed.

Their bodies were flushed against each other. Instinctively, Jane slightly raised her knee and pressed her thigh against Maura's core. Maura exhaled deeply and started to grind against Jane. Their kisses became more and more wild and reckless. Jane's placed her hand and Maura's ass and pressed down, encouraging Maura to grind harder and faster. Maura's breath was becoming labored as her pace increased. She slid her thigh against were Jane needed her the most, Jane gasped at the contact. She could feel Maura's wetness seeping through her panties; it only served to turn Jane on even more. They moved against each other at an increasing rapid paced, both trying to become in sync with the other. Jane flipped Maura over on her back to give herself a moment for her whiskey soaked brain to catch up to what was going on. Maura was surprised by Jane's maneuver, and they both paused for a second. However, Not wanting Jane to lose her nerve and not wanting herself to over think about what was happening between them, Maura grabbed Jane's hand and pressed it against her stomach, then she slowly slid Jane's hands down her stomach to the edge of her panties.

There was a moment of hesitation before she shoved Jane's hand under her panties. Jane's eyes widen as she made contact with Maura's soft, silky core. Maura moaned at the contact and began to move Jane's hand up and down. Taking the hint, Jane set her own rhythmic pace between Maura's legs. Maura's breathing increased with each one of Jane's touches. She removed her hand from atop of Jane's and raised her thigh against Jane's core. Jane's hips started to buck and her breath became ragged. In time, both of their bodies fell in tune with the other. The room filled with panting and moaning as their pace quicken. Jane felt a fire building deep in her lower belly, and she knew she wasn't going to last much longer. Sensing that Jane was close, Maura snaked her hand under Jane's panties and started to rub in a tight circular motions. Jane's eyes slammed shut and she pressed her forehead against Maura's forehead. Jane started to shudder and shake as her orgasm ripped through her body. Seeing Jane coming undone was all Maura needed to fall over the edge herself.

Jane rolled on her back lying next to Maura in a post sex haze. A few moments passed and the energy of the room started to shift for the excitement of their lovemaking to an uncomfortable awkward silence. Even Though Maura was right next to her, she felt as if there was a vast amount of space between them.

Jane was the first to speak.

"Well, I guess that complicate things a bit."

"Yes. Yes it does." Maura said as she rolled on to her side with her back to Jane.

Jane felt the space between them fill with a coldness that left her heart empty. She rolled away from Maura and closed her eyes to stop the tears that threatening to roll down her face.

**AN: I'M SO SORRY IF THEIR LITE SMUT SCENE WAS TERRIBLE. I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN A LOVE SCENE BEFORE AND IT WAS REALLY HARD TO DO. SO A THOUSAND APOLOGIES IF IT WAS HORRIBLE. **


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